I am still studying engineering. I feel worried being an average student. Can I get a good job in placement, buy a house, and a car? I don't know why I feel this.
07.06.2025 18:34
She had a bad habit of always teasing me by saying things like “That boy was staring down my cleavage,” or “My parents will never agree to get me married to you,” etc.
Yes, it was a vegetative state (or rather a post-coma unresponsiveness). Witnessing me in the PCU, she figured out that I would take months and years to come back to a normal life.
Relax, buddy. Do you read my credentials? How do you feel about it?
Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?
I was about to make myself a name in academics when I met with an extremely serious bike accident.
Now, when I appeared on the December 2009 semester-end exams, I cleared as many as 6 Biotechnology theory papers from the 3rd semester, which were totally new subjects for me, 4 Biotechnology practical papers, and I also cleared 3 more papers from the 1st year. I didn't attempt the Math-I paper back then.
In the 2009 fall semester starting August 2009, I tried to distract myself from the breakup in a healthy manner by volunteering for teaching the underprivileged children of the labourers constructing the Deemed University campus in the social service group at the college. Here, I acquainted another girl (a fellow volunteer), who took instant liking to my set of skills. But given my ugly marksheet, she wouldn't agree to make our relationship public.
Remember, your motto is to make your parents proud of their investment in you.
Read along, and I assure you that I can make you feel easy about it by the end of this answer. I hope that you can endure till the end of this long answer.
She was more than 200 kilometres away in the Ambala College of Engineering, Mithapur, Ambala district. And I often used to either take the bus, or ride my bike, or sneak away my father's old car with a desire to meet her, and steal some moments of intimacy and togetherness.
What 10 things have you stopped doing in your life?
I remained distracted at the big private college because of my premature search for true love. Result? Although I passed real engineering subjects like Fundamentals of Computer Programming [FCP], Elements of Mechanical Engineering [EME], Basics of Biotechnology [BoB], and Manufacturing Process [MP] — which were fairly new subjects to me, I still flunked in some of my other B.Tech 1st year exams which concerned the similar subjects as in the secondary school non-medical sciences. This continuation of the Secondary school non-medical science subjects left me feeling inferior to the rest of my classmates.
I worked with the State Bank of India as a Probationary Officer (Assistant Manager grade) for 8 months, and quit the job by tendering a notice period of 1 month in the beginning of the 8th month. It was a fantastic workplace. The seniors were friendly and cooperative everywhere.
Also, learn reasoning skills. Get enrolled in a 2-year pack of an edutainment company like Adda247, TestBook, Olive Board, or any other similar company.
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Make sure that you invest at least twice as much in your parents’ or guardians’ lives as they have already invested in your life. They will be needing your care and attention. Even if you feel like they are not good enough, you must become successful enough to be able to support their medical expenses in future. Not just the treatment costs, but also the care they will need, but never demand.
Within 2 years, I completed the course work along with the research work titled Molecular Cloning, Sequence Characterization, and Relative Expression Analysis of Bovine Trefoil Factors. I was a postgraduate degree holder.
If I can do it, you can definitely do it too.
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Now I was determined to prove myself worthwhile. I completed my B.Tech in Biotechnology taking 6 instead of 4 years.
However, I didn't join it as I had also cleared the SBI PO CRPD 2022-23, and since my mother also retired as a Manager from the State Bank of India, she wanted me to work with them at least until the results of the post allocation for the SSC-CGLE 2022-23 were declared.
Then on March 12, 2024, I joined in the capacity of a Probationary Direct Recruit Assistant Audit Officer (Gazetted Officer post) with the Office of Director General of Audit at the North Eastern Railway Headquarters assigned by the Comptroller & Auditor General of India.
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Like she'd ask me out on evening dates, for bike rides, for a private trip to Jaipur, but not accept that she loved me and was my girlfriend. Even I didn't try to seduce her at Jaipur. We went with the rest of the participants to the IIT Roorkee fest Thomso edition 2009. Her short film entry, which had me acting on it, won the first prize on the 24 Frames per Second event at the technical side fest ‘Gonzo’ that's a parallel event with
Then I worked for 2 months with a locally published energy-sector magazine. However, there, the editor-secretary figured out that I was much more skilled than him. Even the boss offered to send me abroad for attending an international energy-sector conference and report it for the magazine. The editor-secretary felt more threatened, I realised that he felt insecure after he started cold-shouldering me at work. He began pointedly distracting me from my job as a scientific content specialist. I quit the job.
Her behaviour somehow paradoxically acted as a negative motivation for me.
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I used to take offence and shout at her on call. I have this IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) — a bit crazy, you may consider me. But I'm a good man — I never bark any abusive words even in anger. Although I have managed to stay sane in the recent days. 15 years ago, I used to implode and hurt myself by punching into windowpanes, or hurt myself similarly when I'm misunderstood by the people who I expect to understand my feelings.
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I've elaborated this answer to make you feel comfortable about your future.
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In the 2022-23 recruitment cycle, I cleared as many as 4 Main Exams as a person with benchmark disability.
She confessed that my tainted marksheets discouraged her from officially committing to the relationship in an exclusive manner. She had kept her options open.
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So, if you feel like you're average, don't worry. Don't overthink. Don't procrastinate. Just keep revising the math skills you learned until class 10 — tables, squares, square roots, cubes, cube roots, quadratic equations, arithmetic problemprls etc.
I took an year break because of an unavoidable delay in declaration of results. In the AIEEA PG 2015, I was successful in getting admitted to the M.Tech course in Animal Biotechnology offered at the esteemed ICAR-National Dairy Research Institute, Karnal.
That nasty accident pushed me into a 23-day comatose state that I spent as a part of my 42-day hospitalisation. I was in the coma, when my ex blabbered a lot of narcissistic lies of convenience in order to project herself as a good girl.
So, whatever might have been the quantum of tears we shared on mobile calls, the breakup was done with mutual understanding. Her male cousin (a mutual friend of ours) came to my house and handled me the Reliance feature phone that I had gifted her to converse with me.
However, enter 4th semester, she was very pleased with my results. More than my parents, my half-girlfriend was happy with my results. After all, I had attempted 13 papers and cleared them all.
One of her lies included naming another girl as my girlfriend.
My mother was hopeless about my survival, so she arranged for a BPO job at the company of her friend's son. It was a great experience, but the salary they offered for such extensive working hours was very meagre. I walked out of this job when I realised that I could get a better job in the formal sector.
I was inspired by my relatives to become an engineer and so I chose the non-medical sciences stream. I could choose neither a suitable school nor could I justify the extravagant tuition fees that my parents had paid for Engineering coaching classes.
Then I appeared on the entrance exam for the PhD course in Animal Biotechnology at ICAR-National Dairy Research Institute, but couldn't clear the competition in 2017.
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Reason for the crash in secondary school?
She asked me out on a shared expenses trip to Agra. I agreed and we went on
Anyway, an year later, I had to change my college due to systemic reasons, I continued the degree at the University Institute of Engineering & Technology, Maharishi Dayanand University campus, Rohtak.
I was distracted. I had a crush from my 5th standard. I always sought to impress her. I'd escape my tuition classes, I'd bunk my school. Why? To pursue a distractive addiction of video games.
In 2021, I joined a dream job as a scientific content specialist with an energy-sector magazine. But the secretary over there was a narcissist who wanted everyone to work only under him at his directions. Come on. You can't expect a postgraduate degree holder to work under you, especially when you hold a simple graduate degree and have meagre English language skills. He kept invading in my private space, often barking instructions like a rabid dog even while I was having lunch. I took offence and told the owner that I am quitting this job. Otherwise too, they offered me peanuts for the quality and quantity of work which I produced.
Then in 2018, I cleared the entrance exam for the PhD course in Animal Biotechnology from the ICAR-National Dairy Research Institute. I tried pursuing the coveted PhD title until COVID-19 struck and greatly hampered my course.
By now, I had broken up with my first girlfriend who had a strange habit of intentionally making me jealous by telling about how many guys tried to flirt with her or hit on her, and then weeping when I objected to her ways of having fun. She was the bare minimum qualifier in the domain of sadomasochism. She loved crying on phone calls. Somehow, she could still focus on her studies.
Physics-I, Math-I, Fundamentals of Computer Programming, and Math-II.
In the end, I'll humbly leave you with your efforts to make your life shine and assure you that the way ahead is not as difficult to manoeuvre as it seems.
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I chose Biotechnology for my B.Tech at the Career Institute of Technology & Management, Faridabad because at AIEEE rank 84000 something, it was the most flashy private college I could secure without donation.
Just focus on two things — your graduation and your preparation. Solve mock tests everyday. Don't procrastinate on whether you should work hard or not.
Well, I was a below average student ever after I passed high-school leaving certificate examination (10th standard board exams) with 80.33%+ in all 6 subjects, and distinction (88.2%) in the best 5 subjects (Math, Science, Social Studies, English, and Sanskrit).
In the AIEEA PG 2014 for admission in the M.Tech Animal Biotechnology course at the ICAR-National Dairy Research Institute, Karnal, I was the top ranker amongst the physically challenged candidates, but couldn't join the degree because my B.Tech Biotechnology degree hadn't been issued even after having won the war against tremendously life-threatening odds.
Anyhow, I passed the CBSE +2 exams in 2008. The marks were not so great. Pretty much average at 68%.
When I regained my consciousness 23 days later, she figured out that I was going to take a really long time no come back to normal life.
Through the IBPS PO/MTS CRP-XII, I was allotted Bank of India PO after clearing the Interview after the Main Exam.
Although unlike me she had scored dismally on the AIEEE 2008 and secured a rank almost twice more than my own rank (trivially, her rank was more than 160,000 and my rank was around 84,000), she never flunked in her Engineering papers. I was in the erstwhile Career Institute of Technology & Management (now known as Faculty of Engineering & Technology, Manav Rachna International University) — a strung off from the Faridabad city, this college was good for studies if a genuine student wanted to learn. Their library was beautiful and the entire campus itself used to be so spick and span.
I was hurt, felt insulted, but too it as a challenge.
And although my parents thought that the FCI AG3 (clerk-level) job would be better for me, I didn't get that job as I couldn't clear the document verification stage.
In 2021-22, I began appearing on competitive recruitment exams, and cleared the ESIC UDC Recruitment Main Exam in 2021-22, but I was allotted a bad computer for the purpose at the Echelon Institute of Technology, so I couldn't clear it.